OceanLab- Just Listen

See the open road
Nothing there to fear
Feel the ebb and flow
Of all the people here

From day to night and night to day
An endless sea of choice
If you should ever lose your way
Just listen to your voice
Just listen
(Your voice)

From day to night and night to day
An endless sea of choice
If you should ever lose your way
Just listen to your voice
Just listen
(Your voice)

I kid you not. This Album changed my life. It can relate to everyone. And to me. It feels amazing to hear the same thought in their struggles that relate to mine. 

Where does the road go?

What lies ahead? The road is dark and misty. But for some reason I am happy. I lived in the now, and it was glorious. One day at a time. Picture it as your last, would you do everything you'd like to do? Sometimes I don't. But sometimes I do. I mainly wish to say to say something to get a decent talk with you. Something that'll leave you smiling when you go home tonight and reflect on the day. I think I might have done it without me knowing. As I do things I don't think of them as anything. But when I read a certain book I seem to possess the traits that are already described. So I am on the right path. I just need to be patient. Patience, everything will come in time. :) 

My Birthday

I can be added up in a song. And a picture. Enjoy whoever you are. I did. I love life. And I came to terms with who I am. I found myself. Money, career, it will come by itself. For now, I'll take it day by day. Slowly. As slowly as possible. Like it is our last. Your last.

Belief comes within.

Romans 5

 ¹Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:

 ²By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.

 ³And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience;

 ⁴And patience, experience; and experience, hope:

 ⁵And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

 ⁶For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.

 ⁷For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die.

 ⁸But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

 ⁹Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.

 ¹⁰For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.

-King James Version

Why do I need this? Because I have suffering, I am patient, I gain experience everyday, and I hope for the best. Slowly things are coming together. But I have the fear. I have the fear that things will turn for the worse and all that I have hoped for would be a dream. I was told fear sets limits. Once you have fear you have a limit. If I fear the worse, what's my limit? Well what's my fear? My vision, my passion, my want for what I want to become slips away. That is my fear. Sometimes it takes a paragraph to share your thoughts and realize more about yourself. I have a fear, but now that I think of it it's a silly fear. I'm Jesus was scared before he died, yet he did it. He went through it every step of the way. I'm saying if he can take a beating like that and then still hope for the best at the last moments of his life. Something tells me that if I have to hope for the good no matter what the situation. It all comes down to how much you want. The less wants you have, the more you take things as they come like the yin and yang, the happier you will be. Happiness seems difficult to achieve. But if we change our focus it's right in front of us. My focus was or maybe still is to make money so I can help those around me. But I forget my career path isn't about money to help others. Its about how I feel about others. How I want others to feel good about themselves. Just like the artists before me they play to make happiness. Playing piano to me is happiness. And I do it everyday without making a penny. My happiness is right in front. The tomorrow is unknown, the past is a memory, and today is a chance. I believe that there is more to this life than what meets the eye. And so far, our only eyes have been stuck on this universe. So I'll continue to hope, pray, and remember this verse. Because I need to believe in myself. I hope, I pray, I wait, I suffer, I experience. What more do I need to believe in myself? 

The Good The Bad and The Dave

I wanted to sungaze this morning. The clouds blocked my view. Sometimes I get to see the sun and sungaze. Other times, the clouds block its rays. The sun is an example for us humans. It gives us life, it can brings us death. It brings us joy, it can bring us sadness. I was thinking earlier today why me. Why yesterday, why today. I realize. Just as the sun rises and see's its new day it shares its light with the world. It is not alone. The sun is with us just as we are with it. Sometimes it shines, sometimes our clouds block the view. Other times our heart lights up sky. You see you get a day. That's all. You're promised nothing more. Nothing less. A day. A day can be bad. A day can be good. And a day can filled with Dave.

I hate the way I am

I hate you for taking away my happiness. I hate you for not making the ones I love happy. I hate you for not being there when I want you to. I hate that I have to be stronger than you. I hate that I can't say hello. I hate that when you talk you are always negative. I hate how much I had to change. I hate the way that my life has turned out. I want to have my friends back. I want to explore the new. I want to be free. I want to be taken. I want to see that life is good. I want to see that my mom is happy. I want to see that I can do it. I hate that I think so much. I hate that I cannot stop thinking about the future. I hate how I question every move. I hate how I cant go for it. I hate that I don't have my courage. I hate that I can't find someone I love. I hate how my heart burns with anger. I hate it when she asks me to do things. I hate it that I cannot be left alone. I hate it so much because I am lazy. I hate that I am lazy. I want to be active. I hate that I cannot stop. I hate the habit I cannot kick. I want to kick it to the curb and enjoy the weekends like I use to. I hate being so alone. I hate being so cold. I hate living in fear. I hate that no one can hear me. I hate that no one is honest with me. And I hate that I cannot tell what others think about me. I hate that I contradict myself. I hate that I care about others. I hate that I cannot let go. I hate that I cannot be free. I want to hold you. I want to hug you. I want to walk in the snow. I want to walk in the rain. I want you with my friends. I want you alone. I want to share you with my mom. And be proud that I am loved. I want you to be honest. I want you to show me that you care. I want you to love me like I love you. I hate how I cannot have you. I hate how I wait for nothing. I hate how I think something good will happen. I hate how nothing happens. I hate that I want the bad. I hate how I want the good. I want to stop my world. I want to pause. I want to take a breath. I want to take a dip. I want to see you in my face. I want you to last. I hate that I want. I hate that. I want to stop wanting. I want to stop caring. I want to be free. I want to not worry. I want you. I want you to save me. I want you to show me there is a God. I want to know that he loves me. I want to see God. I want to talk to my angel. I want to fly in the air.  I want to stop thinking about all my troubles. I want to think of the new.