Scared

Dreams are amazing. They can take you to a whole another wold. Sometimes they can make you feel you so good, and other times they can make you feel like your in an asylum. The world you experience in your dream and the world you see in front of you is two different worlds. One world is "reality" filled with love and pain. The other world is just the same at times, but the only difference is you feel more in control. How high you can jump, how fast you can drive a car, hold your breathe, run, even go from one place to the next is fascinating. It is a deep seed inside of us that we all desire to experience.  It is a teaser. A hole of light in the dark night. It is a cruel feeling when you wake up after believing everything in your dream was real, thus when you wake up the life you had yesterday is the same in the morning.  This morning I felt fear. Great fear of this world. How can I live in a place where I know one wrong move will lead me or those around me to pain and suffering. Why is it that I feel so fearful. It is something I believe I have not brought to light. That I am scared of this world. Its beauty has no words, but its pain has many. It is a game. And I must cheat the game. I must not play the game. I must remember I am the gamer. I am not the game itself. The game is a world in which I was born into. I pressed start somewhere else. And I came here. My dream is a reminder of my pain. The dream I had of being hunted down, and then just for a brief moment experience a pleasure of 7 women. Is just a reminder. I need to figure out the reminder....and what I just figured is that as much suffering I can endure there is a light at the end of the hole in which gives me a small brief glimpse of the world that is to come. All that I have experienced the bad has seemed to out way all the good. All the wonderful spiritual natural feelings has slowly diminished. The pain body is coming back. And I remember, that day. Where a lighting hit my head, a surge of energy, of goodness, shot down into my skull to my toes and I felt the world. I felt him. And that moment is why I believe this world is not mine. After that moment I felt that I am more. That moment which connected me to the source and Gaia. I am depressed because of that. It is a sign that many people experience when they awaken. I am an old soul. I must not forget that I live in a world with all kinds of souls. Young, Baby, Teen, Mature...they are all on a different level. I myself have been given the final stage of souls at a young age. It is something I do not understand, it is something i have not created, it is something that has been given to me. I have been going at this wrong the whole time. I thought seeing was believing because of all the signs I have seen in the sky. But now I know and believe feeling is believing. I saw and still did not have 100% belief. But I felt and believed more. Feel the world. And you feel yourself light. You feel yourself wonderful. And when you open your eyes, you feel better.