My Love

I wish you can be here to see me cry. To see me so lonely and so hurt. I wish you can see me as the abandoned abused animal from pound. So you can see how I was before you met me. I can't stand to be alone. I can't stand trying so hard only to be ridiculed for trying. I hate how nobody understands how bad it hurts. To see the one you love lying to not hurt your feelings. I hate how I cannot see straight anymore. How after I left, I was pushed away yet again. I hate when I was there I was pushed away. I was kept from everybody like some wild dog. I hate how my feelings are always a joke. My feelings are arguments. I missed the days when we would cry together about how much we miss each other. I miss how we can't express how much we miss each other. How feelings have to be suppressed                                                    , in which suppressed feelings also causes people to forget. I am a walking ghost. I feel nothing.I have fought so hard only to be belittled. I had such good intentions, and I am in shock what good has done for me. Doing good makes you feel bad. Doing bad makes you feel good. I tried so hard to not do bad because I saw what bad can do to people. Nobody remembers the good, only the bad. When good appears it is quickly forgotten. Why be good? Why do good? Why hope for love? Why try? Because you have to believe.